I'm not an overachiever. I'm not good enough at it.

Never, ever in my life have I considered myself an overachiever.
Have I been called one before? Certainly.
But I'm not quick enough, not efficient enough, not perfect enough to hold onto that title.
Even in the fullest of my times, when I was working full time, attending graduate school in the evening, interning part-time, embarking on my yoga teacher certification, recovering from an eating disorder and dealing with debilitating anxiety (which included not only eating and medication management, but it got to the point of daily therapy appointments, weekly doctor's appointments, bi-weekly nutrition and psychiatry appointments...in addition to the emotional drain, and commuting time), and attempting to maintain some semblance of an appropriate 23-year-old social life (oh yeah, and showering, sleeping, and breathing, too), I did not consider myself an overachiever.
Why not?
Well, I was working 30 hours a week. I had co-workers who were working 40 hours a week and put in even more time than that. I had co-workers who were also in school full time. I had classmates who worked 60 hours a week, and girls I interned with who kept their full work hours and did all of their internship hours on the weekends. There were people in the teacher training program who were able to attend class every Wednesday and attend the monthly Sunday workshop whereas I've only been able to attend one class so far. There are people with far more rigorous treatment schedules than I have. There are even people who have a much more complex "getting ready" routine every morning, involving more makeup, better outfits, and more complicated hairstyles than my own.
Can I honestly say, though, that I have ever encountered a person who was doing all of this at once?
No.
I was hardly even managing to do so.
I managed to pretend that I was fine for quite a while.
But eventually that fell through.
So I couldn't achieve this thing that might have been considered an overachievement.
I couldn't even get help until I was sure I was sick enough.

So now, I haven't done much with my time for the past few weeks.
Does that make me an underachiever?
An overachiever?
Average?

I don't know where I lie.
I also don't know where I got the idea that I have to figure out what everyone else is doing, and do the same or better in order to be good enough.

I'll never consider myself an overachiever, because there will, inevitably, always be someone doing more and somehow managing.

And I refuse to put myself in that place again.